And by whatever means, you have found yourself as a single mom, a solo mom, an indie mom… call it what you will. Perhaps this life change comes by choice, unforeseen circumstances, or divorce; it happens and single motherhood becomes your reality.
No one teaches you how to be a single mom. And it is crazy-making. But you do it anyway.
Inevitably, Your Next Question is–What Now?
If you’re like me, you’ve looked for resources. You’ve googled enough to know that there’s not much there, you’re on your own, and you feel pretty unprepared. After all, how does someone prepare for this?
As a single mom, here are the four common challenges and biggest worries you will face:
Time. More specifically, the lack of time. There’s never enough time, for you, for your kids, for housework, etc.
Money. Most likely, finances are going to register on your stress meter, particularly the theme of not having enough to make ends meet and always feeling like you don’t have enough coming in. Household income is typically based on two salaries and you have one.
Loneliness. Single moms rarely talk about this, but it’s lonely as hell. You feel isolated much of the time. Find a community.
Shame. And with shame comes shame’s sister, “guilt”. Combined, these are the worst. If you believe generalizations, or outdated statistics, single motherhood is the root of all evil. You will wear that shame and guilt like a second skin. You’ll feel guilty for working too much (to put food on the table, of course). At the same time, you’ll feel like you’re not doing enough for your child(ren), while laying on the guilt for not being in two places at once.
Unchecked, Single Motherhood will feel like failure, and this is how your internal story will go–you failed to keep your family together, you made a bad choice in spouse, mate, partner… and now you’re left “holding the bag”, specifically holding the child(ren).
But here’s the thing: If you don’t own your story, it will own you.
You either walk inside your story & own it or you stand outside your story & hustle for your worthiness.
This negative story will torment you. It will haunt you. It will keep you up at night, and you will be hostage if you don’t embrace it and own every part of it.
And the thing is, it doesn’t have to be this way.
There are several things that you can proactively do to take control of your life and your story.
Stay tuned for Part Two next week, where we’ll give you 7 ProTips (+downloads) for Owning Single Motherhood, How to overcome the 4 common challenges of being a single mom.
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